Is It Alright To Let My Child Chat Online Without Any Check and Balance?
Posted: Sunday, November 20, 2011
by Tania Ashraf
Tani
"Is it alright to let my child chat online without any check and balance?"
Internet (chat)
The telephone wire, as we know it, has become too slow and too small to handle Internet traffic. It took 75 years for telephones to be used by 50 million customers, but it took only four years for the Internet to reach that many users. (Lori Valigara)
But obviously due to his/her tender age the child whether he/she is a teenager or before entering ones teens needs guidance from the parents whether liked or not at that moment, yes, I cannot deny that in today's world the technology is such that even kids of a younger age have started to get assignments to be completed online because the competition is tough and the internet has all the information under the sun.
But in day to day life when kids have vacations or other related holidays there is no harm to keep a check and balance on your child when he/she is online this does not mean that you do not trust him/her or you are doubting your own flesh and blood but in this time and age where the internet is vital in every department of ones professional and daily life which involves e-mails being harmless in its self its aim just transferring ones well being to his/her loved one living somewhere far off.
I have been a victim of chatting on line and I know what I am talking about where after little chit chat everyone ends up on the topic of sex and it ends on doing cyber sex as far as us adults are concerned it depends on us whether to do or not to opt for cyber sex as its our own prerogative and as a result I left that fantasy world of ALICE IN WONDERLAND but as far as a child is concerned he/she is not old enough to guard oneself from all these addictions at that tender age everything seems glamorous and glittery as a result the child when exposed too cyber sex gets addicted to chatting online.
The best option is to keep giving sex education at home also to your child while he/she is being educated in school / college etc, this way you can keep track of the child's mind and when the child feels comfortable in 1 parents company he/she can ask questions concerning sex candidly without any corms if such routine is taken place at home for the child when the topic of sex can be brought up without any shame then the child is unlikely to fall into the trap of being attracted by cyber sex or web cam shows.
Sex is indeed part and partial of our lives but the information about it should be given to the child as a healthy tonic not making the child so inquisitive about sex that he/she in innocence ends up asking embarrassing questions concerning sex especially when you have people come over at a party or a just a casual get together.
Obviously the situation is going to be too uptight for the said parents and when the guests leave there is a definite quarrel to take place between the couple that who is responsible for what has happened in this blame game the child often ends up eavesdropping and as a result the child becomes introvert and stops asking questions related to sex.
Its best to make the child know that sex is not something dirty or something bad but doing /saying / asking questions about sex in public is bad its an open secret that peer influence also plays a great role in pushing your child into chatting and then leading him/her into cyber sex or web cam shows for this keep your child well informed about the sex and the demerits of chatting online without any reason and how injurious web cams be for a child?
At tender age of 10 – 18- 21 a child is an impressionable age when the child's mind is like a black board on which a lot is written down from what ever he/she observes at home and the environment around him/her.
1 in 3 people consider the Internet to be as important as air, water, food and shelter. Given how intensely people feel about this technology, is it any wonder that some psychologists are convinced that Internet addiction is a real pathology? True, claiming that people are as dependent on the Internet as they are on air, food, or water is obviously a non-starter; it's pretty clear that the actual role of technology is far less compulsory in terms of human survival.
But does this kind of dependence, compulsory or otherwise, qualify as an addiction?
While the DSM only currently recognizes specific dependence on substances as an addiction, it is apparent that a subset of people who overuse the Internet and digital media tools also display behaviors exhibited by substance abusers. In the last decade, as the problem became more widely acknowledged, a few psychological measures have been developed to identify Internet addiction. While none of these are perfect, certain measures are becoming more accepted in the field (like Young's Internet Addiction Test). Using these scales, studies have identified correlates of Internet addiction and found that ADHD, depression, social phobia and hostility were all linked to excessive Internet use, a pattern reminiscent of correlates of alcohol and drug addictions as well.
The internet is just a tool, why should people who overuse it be considered addicts?
Some of the most compelling evidence comes from Asia. In Korea, a country where technology is deeply enmeshed in the culture and Internet cafes abound, Internet addiction is considered one of the country's most serious problems. In the last decade, many people have died after marathon sessions of playing online video games, presumably from exhaustion and lack of nutrition, as they ignored their basic needs so they could continue to play a game. In America, current estimates are that a child between the ages of 8-18 uses media (TV, books, computers, mp3 players and video games) nearly eight hours a day, while extreme users spend up to 12 hours a day with media, every day of the week. Children are spending more time with screens than with their parents or at school; are we doing enough to protect vulnerable children from developing an addiction to the Internet? No laws currently exist to protect children from excessive internet use. Doesn't society have a responsibility to protect children, in the way we attempt to protect them from drugs and alcohol? If so, what would such protection look like and how would it be enforced?
However, according to everything we know right now, it seems obvious that for at least a small subset of Internet users, online life can become disruptive to normal functioning. The question is how to minimize that sort of risk as our society becomes more and more globally dependent on technology.
- Do you often feel preoccupied with the Internet (think about previous online activity or anticipate next online session)?
2. Do you feel the need to use the Internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction?
3. Have you repeatedly made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop your Internet use?
4. Do you feel restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use?
5. Do you stay online longer than originally intended?
6. Have you jeopardized or risked the loss of significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?
7. Have you lied to family members, therapist, or others to conceal the extent of your involvement with the Internet?
8. Do you use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, and depression)? By Adi Jaffe, Ph.D.
I hope this article of mine is an eye opener for all the parents out there because
"It's [the internet] like the flu - it just spreads like crazy. "
(~ Jack Welch).
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