Why Are Men So Possessive About Their Women?
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2011
by Tania Ashraf
Tani
“If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.”
(Thich Nhat Hanh )
It's common that men have major issues about their being possessive about their women (wives, girl friends, fiancé's) although most men population do not accept this that they are more then possessive at times. If you ask women a little % of women will really like this trait in men of their being possessive or more then possessive but if you see the other side of the coin there is a great % of women which will say that " this trait of men ticks me off and this is the reason why we fight all the time."
On top of that things start to get from bad to worse when men refuse point blankly that they are not going to change this habit, trait of theirs of being possessive /over possessive about their women this stubborn reaction of men make women helpless and in return sour relationship starts to appear on the front and slowly & gradually it ends in a divorce or a separation.
From a man's point of view being possessive is nothing to get hyped about and they are not able to understand why women over react when their man acts possessive over the slightest thing such as "who were you dancing with?" Whom are you talking to? I do not like you too talk with your male colleagues after you are home." Etc.
But according to personality type theories If you are wondering why don't people change then read this article and you will understand it all.
Reasons why people don't change
Here are some reasons that will help you understand why people don't change even though they are in need to change:
• 1) They don't see it: Most people don't recognize the error in their behavior and they usually blame other reasons for their misfortunes. "I procrastinate because I am not in the mood, if only i was in the mood i would have studied". That's a typical excuse you hear from a procrastinator when you ask him why he procrastinates. The habit of giving excuses prevents many people from recognizing their problematic behavior and that's where coaching becomes very useful as it helps people find out these errors.
• 2) They are not brave: The second most popular reason that prevents people from changing is the lack of courage to step out of their comfort zones. The person who spends his life hesitating is the one who doesn't have enough courage to move a step forward . The perfect example for lack of courage is the employee who hates his job from the bottom of his heart yet never thinks about changing it because of his fear. The second and the most important step a coach should do to help someone is to motivate him to develop courage.
• 3) They don't know what to do: In an earlier article i said that people do the best that they can do during any given situation while being restricted by their current resources. This means that the person who is doing a bad behavior is actually doing his best because he knows no better!! One of the main reasons people don't change is that they don't know the next step they should take in order to change. That's why self understanding and learning are crucial parts of personal development. Unless you educate yourself or get support from someone who can help you find your way you might remain stuck where you are forever.
• 4) They don't believe that they can do anything: The difference between this point and the previous one is that in the previous one the person is completely clueless about the direction he should take while in this case the person knows what to do but he just believes that it won't work.
How can people change?
From the previous points we can conclude that in order for people to change they first need to see life from a different angle in order to recognize that their behavior led them to where they are now.
Next the person must develop courage in order not to fall in the trap of living with excuses or even worse deceiving himself.
"If those two steps were done right then the last part (which is educating himself about the right things he should do in order to change) will become the easiest part. " (M. Farouk. Rid wan. M.Sc)
In the end I would like to say that I hope my article about why men are so possessive about their women is able to solve the long awaited answer by all the women at large happy reading to all my readers out there while take men at ease give them time and space in order to change their habit /trait of being possessive about you.
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